Yeah. I see you.
You call yourself a "gamer". Pssh.
You claim to show some "nerd love", but you shrugged at Bioshock and the only game you've "enjoyed" since Halo 2 was.....Halo 3.
You make me sick.


Oh, and YOU.
With your "oh, games aren't good anymore...they're too hard...they're just brainless distractions..."
Wah. Wah. Wah.
You make me sick as well.




Why? Because neither of you fucks gave Half-Life 2 a chance. Here we are with one of the greatest games in this industries history--and all you heard was "First Person Shooter". Nevermind the story. Nevermind the way it presents the world to you. You wanted nothing to do with you because you thought it was too "smart" for you....or that you were too "smart" for it.


Do not despair, however....because Valve has, in their infinite wisdom, given you a second chance. It's name: The Orange Box (for XBox 360 and PC). Not only do you get Half-Life 2, but the two follow-up episodes, Portal, AND Team Fortress 2. And you WILL buy this.....and I will tell you WHY:


_Half-Life 2/Episode 1/Episode 2
It's no great secret that the Half-Life series is my all-time favorite--hands down (an extremely close second is Zelda--FYI). Half-Life 1 came to me at a time in my life when I HATED anything FPS (save Golden Eye 64)...and I bought it sight-unseen. I was amazed....I was enthralled....I played the game 18 times over to the point that I practically memorized the thing.

It wasn't the story. It was how it was presented. You weren't TOLD what happened...you just lived through it. No cut-aways.....just you and the world. I couldn't believe how SMART a FPS could be.....and I realized the strength that genre could offer. Thankfully, so did a lot of people. Half-Life 1 started with no advertising what-so-ever, and grew to gaming's Mount Olympus through word-of-mouth. And Valve spent the fast majority of their earnings on building Half-Life 2.

Again, Half-Life 2's strength is presentation. I absolutely LOVED Bioshock (there's not a lot who doesn't)--but it still doesn't hold a candle to the ride Valve takes you on. The voice acting is as solid as steel, and the atmosphere and writing is gold. If you ever wanted to make an argument to somebody for games as art, I'd recommend sitting them down and making them play Half-Life 2 (and Bioshock).

There's such a sense of scale and weight to the world that is unmatched. The supporting characters (like DOG and Alyx) adds a human face and humor you don't often see in video games, and it does it with humor. The game actually waits 15 minutes before even giving you a gun, just so you can get to know everyone and take-in the world they built. Again, it's not you WATCHING a game for 15 minutes....you're still playing it...Valve just wants you to soak it in.

Once you finish the main game, you can go through the proceeding episodes that continue the story. I haven't yet played Episode 2 (it's new...and I want to start from the beginning again), but the reviews are glowing. They're short...only 6 hours a peice...but they're worth it.


_Portal
Also in the Orange Box is Portal. Now Portal is different, so I'll do my best to explain...


Portal is a game that takes place in the Half-Life UNIVERSE, but it's really just a 3D FPS puzzle game. The general idea is you create these holes in time/space that you must use to problem-solve each given situation (usually, manipulating the world to move something from point A to B).

The technology is incredible...and a little bit trippy. If you positions the portals just right, you can create odd infinite loops or see yourself. It can get a bit "Escher" on you at times.

What I didn't expect, though, was how funny the game is. The monotone voice guiding you is ripe with some great comedy (the on-purpose kind)...which makes it my most-laughed at game (again, on purpose) since Psychonauts (yes...I'll still rate Psychonauts higher).

I'm not completely done with Portal yet, but I hear it's only a couple hours long. Still...it's a GREAT couple of hours.



Team Fortress 2
I didn't get to spend enough time with TF2, yet....but I'm already pretty impressed by the visuals. It has this cartoony-style that blows me a way, while still having enough there for the Halo 3 lot to play once they get sick of their "Shotty Snipers".

Team Fortress [Classic] popularized team-based multiplayer shooters. The whole "classes" idea? Yeah, that's from this. There are 9 distinct classes (Medic, Demoman, Heavy, Sniper, Spy, Medic, Soldier, Scout, Engineer), and your team needs a good mix to accomplish the goal. Yes...you've seen this before.....but it does it better then you've seen before.

I'm figuring the best way for you to understand the level of polish and style that's in this multiplayer-only game is to show you the "Meet The..." trailers. Even if you HATE multiplayer games (like me, usually), you need to see these trailers...they're extremely funny (yes, Portal and Psychonauts STILL rank higher...don't be so picky):

Meet the Engineer
Meet the Soldier
Meet the Heavy
Meet the Demoman









So GO BUY IT! It's only $60 for the 360 version (less for the PC)...and you get 5 games for that price. 5 great, well-polished, games.





...and hit me up on XBox.....DeathSun v2.